As uneasy as it is to understand, my worst fears are associated with my home. My definition of home isn’t the typical one of ‘a place where I live in, with my family’. To me, anything that I can associate with hope becomes my home. For example, the special people in my life, my aspirations and most importantly God. I often refer to Jesus as my home. When I wrote this piece my home felt like it was hanging in the balance; I tried to hold on to everything with my hands and heart but it was slipping so fast.
The colour pencil drawing, as usual, is a reflection of my state of mind. I haven’t made her look utterly destitute, so I guess that even in my state of confusion and strife, I still remain hopeful that things will work out. Sometimes we are forced into paths that we couldn’t predict but wished we could. However, even if we could predict some of these things, it does not necessarily mean that we would have been able to stop them. Not even when we have the entire force of a supernatural deity on our side. I think the important thing is learning; most things happen so that we can learn from them and come out newly formed. God wants us to grow, and how he chooses to make that happen is entirely up to him, but I think that we have a say concerning how long any unpleasant situation persists.
The painting was inspired by my peaceful state of mind, I used mostly pastel colours, which is a first for me. I was mainly thinking about what it really meant to be strong. Drawing from my experiences, I think that true strength is accepting the people that genuinely want to help us. True strength is having the humility to believe and the willingness to grow. True strength is holding a mirror to our image every now and then.
I think it is wrong when people say ‘true strength comes from within’. It is implausible to suggest that the origin of strength is ‘within’ when strength is not an intrinsic value. Strength does not come from ‘within’ it is just formed there. When we are born, we are born weak, vulnerable and dependent. We have our individual characteristics that make us different and react in different ways to certain situations. However, it is our experiences that form and develop us; our experiences trigger the fight or flight notion in our minds. Our experiences may be caused by the natural order of things, they may be self-inflicted or caused by others. But we can only develop strength when we make the most out of our experiences by appreciating them for what they have to teach us and appreciating the available help. We can only develop strength when we stop indulging in isolated thinking and self-pity.
Yellow and green like the natural valley underneath your sternum.
Yellow and green because I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Yellow and green like growth and mutual reliance.
Yellow and green because I have trusted you with so much and yet so little.
Yellow and green like when the hills kiss the sun.
Yellow and green because this ultimately came, without much thought or inquiry.
Dedicated to those who happened into my life and managed to stay in.
Interpersonal relationships: Being in charge but also leaving enough room for the unknown.
Relationships may sometimes seem overly centred around trying to make things work. The level of difficulty of this is often dependent on one’s ability to tolerate and willingness to understand. It is almost common knowledge that you cannot choose your biological family but you can choose your friends. However, some friends happen to you like an unforeseen event. Sometimes they are disastrous, even catastrophic and other times a wonderful surprise. You end up going through or coming out of such experiences with thoughts like ‘what just happened?’
For the most part of life, we do not have a choice with regards to a majority of stuff that happens to us. For instance, the people we were born to, the struggles we were born to deal with or other circumstances we found ourselves in.
We may not really have a say when it comes to the people that happen into our lives, the ones we fall in love with, the ones that hurt us, the ones that we have to work with or those who become family members along the line. However, we do have a great amount of discretion when it comes to deciding who stays in. We just need to be wise with how we use this choice.
I needed it to be a distraction from the real world.
Talk less politics.
Talk less God.
Not wanting to be that loud cry in an empty hall.
But I didn’t last long doing that.
I have a great dislike for bullies but a special dislike for self-righteous people who feel above correction; they will never change.
Can you hear me?
Stop persecuting us!
Stop limiting us!
Stop hating yourselves!
Forcibly driving yourselves into sunken airless pockets.
Are you ignorant?
Light-hearted fun is good. And alcohol makes people happy. But only for a little while. Ignorance is only bliss when it is real ignorance. Not the type that was fashioned into existence to sway minds and suppress overly thoughts
You are not Ignorant.
I Stopped fighting for the cause, but did I ever really begin? Did I never tackle Inequality because I became apathetic? Or because I became too scared of the backlash from people who pick equal fights against the cause?
Do people really want to read long reports about inequality? Don’t they either feel guilty for being a part of the problem? Or guilty for not fighting against the problem? Guilt always finds new ways to be transformed into backlash.
Are you selfish?
True selfishness is to seek your gain to the detriment of others.
For humanity to grow true selfishness needs to die.
Everyone needs to SHUT UP and THINK.
Activists included. Non-activists included. Everyone. Including those with tremendously wise things to say, and those who only say stupid things.
Talk is cheap.
We are all becoming too stupid from talking more than we are ever willing to listen.
I think June 2016 so far has been the craziest month, I moved my entire life back to the UK and the UK decided (against my will) that it wanted to leave the EU. June required a lot of adjustment. Life will carry on, maybe not as usual but it wou.
Let it go is mainly about the act of forgiveness; a topic I was sort of exploring right before I left France. I guess it followed me to England and inspired its own post.
Let it go.
The shadows from our past may haunt us, deeply rooted in our veins; they use unforgiveness as nourishment.
The most fertile soil for such a thing.
It’s vines are like puppet strings.
It sprouts teeth not flowers.
Baring down, they sink in and steal.
However, God has called us to be free, not chained by these things.
Maybe such events needed to have exsisted?
Maybe this was the thing that made you who you are today.
I wish I could come up with a better name. But only this made sense.
If eyes are the windows to the soul, we should be able to see tales in peoples’ eyes. What then should be assumed of people whose eyes say nothing?
Is “genuineness” the defining factor in the difference between real helpers and people-pleasers?
I presume the right answers can be found when you search each heart. But no one is willing to because sometimes we find the ugliest things buried deep.
True treachery lives deep inside the heart of men. And it is the sole creator of chains that bind.
What should you do when the precious things that surround you become an actual ring of fire?
Rapidly closing in on you.
Sometimes, it is a lot easier to set yourself ablaze than to put out the flames.
Especially when you only have your hands.
Once, I hastily tried to put out the scorching flames with nothing but my hands. Even as the fire roasted my flesh, It took me a while to realise that there was sand underneath my feet.
Sand that I could have easily kicked over the fire.