Tag Archives: acrylic painting

When It Rains. (Dec 2016)

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When It Rains Victoriadeyemi

When it rains.wordpress-when-it-rains

Where does real strength come from

The painting was inspired by my peaceful state of mind, I used mostly pastel colours, which is a first for me. I was mainly thinking about what it really meant to be strong. Drawing from my experiences, I think that true strength is accepting the people that genuinely want to help us. True strength is having the humility to believe and the willingness to grow. True strength is holding a mirror to our image every now and then.

I think it is wrong when people say ‘true strength comes from within’. It is implausible to suggest that the origin of strength is ‘within’ when strength is not an intrinsic value. Strength does not come from ‘within’ it is just formed there. When we are born, we are born weak, vulnerable and dependent. We have our individual characteristics that make us different and react in different ways to certain situations. However, it is our experiences that form and develop us; our experiences trigger the fight or flight notion in our minds. Our experiences may be caused by the natural order of things, they may be self-inflicted or caused by others. But we can only develop strength when we make the most out of our experiences by appreciating them for what they have to teach us and appreciating the available help. We can only develop strength when we stop indulging in isolated thinking and self-pity.

 

 

Yellow And Green: To X and others (Sept 2016)

 

Tim Yellow and Green
Yellow and Green By Victoriadeyemi. Dedicated to
Chalk and Acrylic.

Dedicated to X

Yellow and Green

Yellow and green like the natural valley underneath your sternum.
Yellow and green because I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Yellow and green like growth and mutual reliance.
Yellow and green because I have trusted you with so much and yet so little.
Yellow and green like when the hills kiss the sun.
Yellow and green because this ultimately came, without much thought or inquiry.

Dedicated to the people who happened into my life but managed to stay in.

Interpersonal relationships: Being in charge but also leaving enough room for the unknown.

An interpersonal relationship may sometimes seem overly centered around trying to make things work. The level of difficulty of this is often dependent on one’s ability to tolerate and willingness to understand. Although it is almost common knowledge that you cannot pick your family but you can pick your friends, some friends happen to you; like family or an unforeseen event. Sometimes they are disastrous, even catastrophic. Other times a wonderful surprise. You end up going through or coming out of it with thoughts like -what just happened?

For the most part of life we are not given a choice with regards to a majority of the stuff that happens to us. For instance: how we were born, the people we were born to, the struggles we were born to deal with or other circumstances we found ourselves in.

We may not really have a say when it comes to the people that happen into our lives, the ones we fall in love with, the ones that hurt us, the ones that we have to work with or those who become family along the line. However, we do have a great amount of discretion when it comes to deciding who stays in. We just need to be wise with how we use this choice.

 

Exoskeletons and Wallpapers

20151120_130159 (1)Exoskeleton, is the second time I’ve used paint on canvas in France, It took me 4 days minus the days where I waited for the paint to dry. I think it has been a while; the last time I ran wild on canvas. It was definitely inspiring and kind of liberating. I love it, when I turn the canvas into landscape, its like a river in the wall created from touch.  My only regret is that the canvas was not big enough, for this piece I needed more room.

Exoskeletons and Wall papers.

“… who lied and told you that you died when you stopped breathing?”

My exoskeleton fed off anxiety, fear, rejection, tears and grew into this uncontrollable thing.
It itself was not a lie, but it was a potent liar.
Potent because all of its lies were logical.
So much so, that believing them became a necessity.

It taught me:
That I could never be in control of myself because humans are machines fuelled by motivation which in turn is controlled by emotions.

By that reasoning I couldn’t ever trust myself.

That happiness does not exist;  it was strictly out of our reach because humans are naturally selfish and inherently evil.

Thus by justification all systems fabricated by people are evil.

This taught me to trust in nothing and in no one, which wasn’t very hard, because it was all logical.

But when it taught me not to trust God, I stumbled.
I stopped breathing. Thinking “this is it”.

“But who lied and told you that you died when you stopped breathing?”

Tales From the Children of the Light (Deception) Aug2015

Deception (2) victoriadeyemi
Deception (2) victoriadeyemi

Deception was made with acrylic paint, but I used poster colour as the base for just her skin. Everything from her wide set eyes to the colours and the positioning of the flowers were carefully thought out because it was all supposed to be symbolic. Which is very uncharacteristic of me, I usually go with the flow.

On the horizon he created the…
morning stars.
Light came and darkness did not understand it. It fled.
We knew, we told ourselves that we knew but we didn’t, because although we knew, we did not understand.
And when we saw the stars and were fearful, we said we knew but we did not because we did not understand.
Without understanding we couldn’t see and there was more darkness. Thus in the confusion we were weak and sinned and we started to know less but were adamant that we knew.
We took the darkness and shrouded ourselves in it. But the darkness took so much from us; including our sight. And then we became afraid.
We called upon his name and though he was angry and could not look at us, he wrought for his name’s sake.
So that we may know that He Is GOD.
As soon as he showed us the light, we were delighted and could say with certainty that we knew.
But as it was handed to us we took the light in one hand and stroked the warm, comforting and familiar surface of darkness with another.
And we said now we know but we need to say one last goodbye to this thing that mercilessly hurt us. We made excuses to be near it again, because it confused and intrigued us.
Again we fell and darkness covered us and gross darkness covered our eyes and made our bones weak; It continued to steal from us.
But it couldn’t steal our lives, because of his grace and because of his name, because nothing would happened until he agreed to it.
In the end we said we were still alive because we knew.
However;
we did not know, we don’t know, we don’t understand.

Tales from the Children of the Light (Wild Things) Oct 2015

Wild things victoriadeyemi
Wild things victoriadeyemi

Wild Things is the first time I have used paint on canvas since summer. I find acrylic paint a lot harder to use than chalk and even oil paints; because it isn’t as obedient or flexible. But only acrylic paint could translate into this on canvas and the more I use it, the more I find new ways to deal with it. I think the beauty of this piece are her eyes, I think they are powerful and defiant but also dead. They are capable of telling the whole story.

Time and time again, I have told myself that…
I am a wild thing.

I will never be tamed.
I never want to be caged.

Wild things cannot be contained because they will eventually venture out.
Wild things cannot be owned because they have no regard for authority.
Their spirit remains uncrushed, defiant.
And you can see it in their eyes that they hate you.

Wild things can be loved.
But you shouldn’t ever love a wild thing.
It would shatter your heart and leave with half of the pieces.

However, no one obeys this solid rule.
They are continually disappointed when they find out that I slipped out through their fingers yet again .

And I, hurt because I never remember that it is in man’s nature to want to own wild things. Especially when he loved it.

So, in trying to avoid being hurt or caged, I created my own impenetrable fortress.
Wherein I was a merciless master, a ruthless warden and an obedient prisoner.
There was no escape, no matter where I went, I kept running into myself.

Memories. (Bird)

Bird
Bird

I’m not sure if this is a memory or a memory of a dream, but I was walking home with someone. I cant remember if it was a friend or one of my sisters. It was raining and neither of us had an umbrella. I was typically worried about my hair but it wasn’t so bad for me, because once you stop worrying about getting wet, heavy rain (or fat rain, as we referred to it in my memory) is crazy fun. She, on the other hand hated the whole experience; She didn’t like randomly jumping into puddles of water and she did not like the feel of rain on her skin because “it felt like acid”. As I concluded writing this, I became less sure if this was even my memory at all.
I wonder, if memories could be seen physically as an entity, what would it Look like? I imagine its form to be ever-changing and sometimes fading. I imagine it to be inaccurate and terribly flawed. I imagine it to be the least constant thing in the entire universe, because in the same way we can choose to see what we want to see, we are also capable of choosing how we remember certain events. Whether consciously or unconsciously.

There are so many other things I’d like to say about Bird.

Maybe one of these days  I’ll give her her own segment.

Uncertainty.

Things are generally not happening the way I planned them to. Furthermore, I find myself doing things that were not really in the plan. Sometimes I feel like I was more certain about how things were going to turn out when I was in year 9. Which doesn’t make any sense because I was only 14 years old. Certainty is good; I like being certain about how things are going to turn out. But I haven’t been certain about a lot of things for a very long time now. Honestly it has been one surprise after another. And I’m not sure that I like that. This painting is uncertain because it is not what I set out to paint, these aren’t even the colours that I had planned to use. There were so many questions like what even is this? And why am I currently (unconsciously) obsessed with fire?

I was going to wait until I got back to London before I posted it , by then I would have highlighted it a bit more. Maybe it would make more sense then? Also the presentation would be a lot nicer because I would be reunited with my laptop. But what is the point of following the plan? So here you go an incomplete work to fully represent uncertainty. Whatever. I am going to watch some cartoons now.