Things are generally not happening the way I planned them to. Furthermore, I find myself doing things that were not really in the plan. Sometimes I feel like I was more certain about how things were going to turn out when I was in year 9. Which doesn’t make any sense because I was only 14 years old. Certainty is good; I like being certain about how things are going to turn out. But I haven’t been certain about a lot of things for a very long time now. Honestly, it has been one surprise after another. And I’m not sure if I like that. This painting is uncertain because it is not what I set out to paint, these aren’t even the colours that I had planned to use. There were so many questions like what even is this? And why am I currently (unconsciously) obsessed with fire?
I was going to wait until I got back to London before I posted it, by then I would have highlighted it a bit more. Maybe it would make more sense then? Also the presentation would be a lot nicer because I would be reunited with my laptop. But what is the point of following the plan? So here you go an incomplete work fully representing my uncertainty. Whatever. I am going to watch some cartoons now.