The Sixth piece from the Black Sketchbook was the first of its kind, simply because it is a colour pencil sketch. Chaos is unexplainable. It was August 2013 and my nuclear family lost an important asset it was not too bad; Mother said that it was going to be okay. I believed her but I knew that the ‘okay’ period would only come in the long run. It dawned on me that I needed a summer Job to get the things that I wanted, and I totally got one. Working at M restaurant was a life changing experience, it was my first summer job and I loved and hated it. I loved it because I loved earning my own money; it was liberating. I loved meeting new people; because it helped me develop a new outlook towards life, and I was content with my work colleagues. But I hated the job and I knew, without doubt that I hated it more than I loved it.
Similarly to Champagne and Canapés (2), drawing Chaos gave my subconscious a lot of discretion. Therefore it is uneasy to pinpoint what inspired it. However, I do remember that she started off as someone staring at her reflection in the mirror and after a few shifts at work, she became two different women, and the bags underneath her eyes became darker and more profound. And she suddenly developed holes in her dress and her companion developed a deep cut in her back. Chaos could either be the product of the loss of the asset or the unfulfilling summer job which I definitely hated more than I loved. She could either be the creation of an unpredicted chaotic event or a roll of continuous chaotic events. In any case, she is the reflection of the helplessness and dejection I felt at the time. It is weird how different this is from the last piece which was drawn in the same month. The Dancing woman (5) reminds me more of a light happy feeling, whilst this is heavy and melancholic. August (2013) was a weird month.